Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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