Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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