nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think people are normalizing furries
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize