I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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