Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
