The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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