I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize