Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
