operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
