he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
