Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
