Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
