he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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