This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
