I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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