I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
