I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
