So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You smell like stripper and shame
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
