A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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