i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
