just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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