What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
