fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I want her autograph on my taint
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
