I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I can't turn off my feet"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
