sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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