You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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