Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
