does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
