just tell him i said nine months
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
