he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
