You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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