Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
