they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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