There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
