Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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