Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
