How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
