I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
