is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize