our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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