last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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