You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
