I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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