It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
