im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Randomize