...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
