I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
