I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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