I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
