After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
