I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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