i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I checked into jail on foursquare
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
