Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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