either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
