their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
