Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ugly people sure do ruin things
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
